


Loving The Enemy?

by pandaplxys



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Evil, Gen, Good and Evil, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Character Death, Nen (Hunter X Hunter), Non-Canonical Character Death, Non-Sexual, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tags May Change, non-canon, x Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25962853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaplxys/pseuds/pandaplxys
Summary: You've always looked up to Hisoka and his ways of evil, hoping one day to be just like him. In the future, you are expected to step up and take his place. But after witnessing Hisoka murder Gon, you feel something inside you change.[discontinued]
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Kurapika/Reader
Kudos: 18





	1. Into The Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii! This is my first ever fanfic I've ever written! On that note, I'm still new to AO3 so I apologize for any errors I made. I am also not exactly an amazing writer either, so some parts of the story will be poorly written so I also apologize for that. (Fun fact: I came up with this concept a couple months ago when I was trying to sleep lol) Anyways, sorry for the long intro and I hope you enjoy my story! :) Chapter 2 out now! :3

# Loving The Enemy?

### Into The Night

_*huff puff huff puff huff puff*_

_You sprint through the thick pine trees in the forest running. Running from him. Running from Hisoka. You don't want to go back to him and the ways of evil. After witnessing his brutal and relentless attack on the poor boy he called Gon, something changed inside of you that day. You didn't feel the joy you usually did when you saw Hisoka kill someone. He was just an innocent boy who had his whole future ahead of him. Now all of that was taken away from him in an instant. You tried to shake it off as no big deal, but something about that day kept replaying in your mind. Was it his screams for mercy? Was it the way he pleaded for Hisoka to stop hurting him? Or was it the looks on his helpless friends' faces as they just watched him being slaughtered, unable to help the poor boy out. The white haired boy's look stood out the most to you. The look you usually enjoy—the fresh look of sheer terror and horror, (even better when you can witness the pure shock in his eyes forming along with his tears) just didn't feel the same as it used to. Now it felt like it was wrong to do or just, evil at that point. You get lost in your own thoughts while you're running when suddenly..._

_**THUD!** _

"Ah!" You exclaimed you trip and tumble onto the ground. You are certain that you did something your ankle as the pain shoots up your leg. You crash into a tree. "Shit." You silently curse. You are disoriented and gasping for air but you see the small hole in the tree that your body can climb into. You stumble as you try to stand up, the pain intensifying each time, but you finally manage to stand on your own. You attempt to keep running, when you're suddenly yanked backwards by an unseen force. You immediately recognize that force to be Hisoka's signature nen, Bungee Gum (yk the one that has the properties of rubber and gum ;) ) You can feel his bloodlust draw closer. And closer. And closer until he's right above your fear-filled body. 

"Oh? And what do we have here?" Hisoka said in a singsong—almost mocking—tone of voice. "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MURDERER!" You scream at his face. You try crawling away from him, but his Bungee Gum drags you back. "Have you ever heard the saying 'you can run, but you can't hide.' ? Well, you can't run or hide from me." He draws closer to you, his bloodlust pouring out from him. "You know I just might want to kill you right now." He says while pulling out his cards that are known to kill. "S-stay away from me you bastard!" You hissed at him while backing up against the tree. You start to panic and hyperventilate as you think, 'this is it. I'm gonna die right here, right now." You quickly try to wipe away the tears forming in your eyes. You look at Hisoka with your pleading eyes. "Please. Please don't do this." You shakily whispered. You close your eyes as you prepare yourself for your untimely demise. You can hear the cards slice through the air as if were made of melted butter. _"He is really gonna kill me. He's probably going for my neck no doubt. Just to get it over with."_ You thought to yourself. You prepared to feel the pain of the impact, but it never came. Hisoka threw the cards purposely off target just to scare you. You were paralyzed from fear; one movement and you might bump into the cards trapping your neck. "..Except I'm not going to kill you. I'm not going to kill someone if they aren't even going to put up a fight. That would be a waste of potential, wouldn't you think?" He explained while releasing his Bungee Gum. You weren't paying attention to him though. With your pounding chest that you know that Hisoka could hear, the surging adrenaline and the fear that paralyzed your body, you were overwhelmed by many emotions. Hisoka starts to walk towards you, but only to retrieve his cards that wedged into the tree's bark. It was when he turned his back you remembered the small pocket knife in your back pocket. As you were about to arm yourself with the blade, Hisoka turned to look at you with his bright yellow eyes. "Don't even think about it. I know you, and you can't pick a fight with me." As he turns to walk away from you he says to you, "I have no interest in fighting someone who doesn't even know how to use nen." That was the breaking point. You jumped up and used your good ankle as leverage to lunge at him. He immediately pulled out his cards again with a threatening glare. You immediately froze and as quickly as you stood, you fell down again, clutching your ankle that was still in severe pain. He smirked. "As I thought. You aren't going to fight me." He turned back and walked away into the night. You were shaking out of the anger and fear that consumed you in the moment.

After some time later, you finally calmed down and stopped shaking. You remembered that there was a river nearby where you could rest, and you decide to go there. As you half crawled and half dragged your body towards the tranquil river, fatigue strongly overpowers your body. You couldn't move your tired body any further, so you stop on top of the short and shallow hill leading towards the river. "This is.... a good enough.... spot i.... guess...." You say to yourself as you drift into a deep sleep. One problem arises in your sleep though, if you roll over even the slightest inch, gravity will take over and you'll start to roll down the short hill and fall into the calming river. Of course you end up rolling onto your side, and you start your slow descent down the hill until you end up in the river.

_**SPLASH!** _

Because you were a natural deep sleeper, along the fatigue that greatly wore your body out, you weren't awaken by falling into the river. Instead you were peacefully floating down the river, into the night.

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	2. In Leorio's House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua decides to get out of Leorio's house and go fishing with Kurapika to accompanying him. When they discover you in the river, they help you out, but in return they discover a terrible secret about you. Currently working on the next chapter! :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii sorry this took so long! (honestly fuck school) I just came up with the "secret" while I was zoning out in math lmao. ALSO SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!!!! Anyways, hope you enjoy! (Also sorry if some of the characters act a little OOC welp my bad)

# Loving The Enemy?

### In Leorio's House

"I'm bored." Killua complained to himself. He hasn't been the same since Gon's sudden death. Before that incident occurred, he was a smiling, happy, and young boy who had his life planned out along with his best friend at his side, but now, he's the complete opposite of what he used to be. Now, he must have Kurapika or Leorio with him everywhere he goes, due to his "dangerous thoughts and actions." He seldomly leaves the house and just spends most of his time in his room. While Killua was thinking about what to do, a faint knock came from his door. "Hey Killua, are you in there? It's me, Leorio." Killua, although slightly startled by his voice, walked over to his door to let Leorio in. "Did you need something Leorio?" Killua asked curiously. "O-oh nothing, I just wanted to check in on you to see if you were okay thats all." That's when an idea hit Killua. "Wait, Leorio! Can I ask you something?" "Uh sure! Go right ahead Killua!" "Can I go fishing in that river that's nearby with you?" Leorio was happy that Killua wanted to come out of his room, or even the house for that matter, but became flustered as he was answering the boy's question as he was forced to break some news to him. "Sorry Killua, b-but I unfortunately have a really important business trip t-that I have to go to, and I don't know how long it's gonna last, I-I'm sorry." Killua became discouraged by this news but Leorio offered something to cheer him up. "Well Kurapika should still be here, do you want to go with him instead?" "Oh um.. sure I guess." "Okay then." Leorio walked away from his door and shouted at Kurapika. "Hey Pika, can you come here for a second, I need you for something!! PIKA!!" Killua and Leorio heard a crash from the living room, along with a small yelp. Kurapika walked over to where the two boys stood, with his hand clutching his now bruised arm. He talked in an annoyed tone as he talked to Leorio. "What is it Leorio? You woke me up from my na- Oh, hi Killua." His tone calmed down as Leorio and Killua explained. "Oh, I see now. I can take you fishing Killua, I just need a few minutes to get ready, okay?" Killua was content with Kurapika's response. He waited at the front door as Kurapika was getting ready, along with Leorio, who was about to depart for his trip. "Hey, I left some supplies for you two just in case something happens while I'm gone. Now, you two better behave while I'm away okay?" "Yeah okay Leorio, you're not my dad." Killua said jokingly. "Okay, I'm ready Killua. Oh, you're leaving as well Leorio?" Kurapika questioned. "Yup.. I'm gonna miss you guys while I'm gone." "We'll miss you too Leorio!" Both boys said at the same time. As they all walked outside, Leorio split off and walked to his car. "Bye guys! Stay out of trouble while I'm gone!" "Bye Leorio!" As Leorio drove off, the two remaining boys stated walking together to their destination, where they'll soon find more than just fish in the water...

"What made you want to go fishing Killua?" Kurapika asked curiously knowing the boy never came out his room, much less the house. "I don't know, I just felt the cool wind from sitting on my window sill and-" Kurapika was very concerned now. "Wait you weren't thinking about.. jumping down.. were you?" Kurapika questioned. _"I said too much dammit!"_ "N-no! Well, not yet at least.." Kurapika stopped Killua in his tracks. "HEY! WHY WOULD EVER THINK ABOUT DOING-" His eyes flashed scarlet as he yelled at Killua. Kurapika drew a deep breath and calmed his emotions. He kneeled down to the young boy's level and started talking in a much calmer tone. "Listen, I know what it's like to lose someone close to you. Ever since my clan perished, I've always thought about ending it all. All of my pain and suffering. But I have you guys now, and I wouldn't trade either of you for the world, or in this case my life. So please Killua, don't do it please, I'm begging you. I can't bear to lose another person close to me again." Kurapika's eyes began to tear up as he finished his sentence, and they both noticed it too. Kurapika wiped his tears away and stood up. "Anyways, enough of that, let's go fishing just like you wanted to Killua." The two boys resumed their trek towards the river.

The two boys made small talk as they strolled towards the river along with getting lost and turned around multiple times. And then at last, they had finally found the river.

"There it is! We found it!" Killua started to run towards the river. "H-hey wait up!" Kurapika then followed suit. After a couple minutes of trying to find the perfect spot to fish, they finally settled on the perfect spot, with an amazing view of the water. "I think this is a good spot, right Killua?" "Well, the view is really cool, so yeah!" Kurapika was glad that he was able to finally see Killua smile again. Just seeing his smile made Kurapika smile as well.

After a couple hours of catching a couple fish, some old trash, and other random things, the sun finally began to meet the horizon. As the two boys began to pack up their supplies, they saw something floating downstream. "Hey Kurapika, what's that?" He points at something that shined in the distance and it was slowly drifting towards them. "Should we check it out Kurapika?" "I don't know, it might just be some garbage someone dumped into the river. And besides, it's getting late, and we should probably head back." "Well, if you think it's just some trash, don't you think we should at least throw it away somewhere else then?" "I suppose so. Fine, let's go check it out then." Kurapika sighed. The two boys walked towards the unknown object and investigated it. "See, I told you it was just some garbage." "I- okay fine maybe you were right, maybe it was just some trash floating around, but we should probably take it with us to throw away somewhere else then." "Good idea. Let's go." As the pair started to head back to Leorio's house, Killua saw something else drifting down the river. Killua noticed something off about it. It looked as if it were moving ever so slightly. His curiosity overtook him and he went back to investigate. Kurapika noticed his absence and started to panic. "Killua? Killua! Where are you!! KILLUA!!" _"Oh god, I should've kept a closer eye on him, and now look, he's gone! This is all my fault!"_ "KILLUA PLEASE, WHERE ARE YOU?! KILLUA!!" Kurapika turned around and ran in the opposite direction. "KILLUA I'M SERIOUS! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE PLAYING GAMES!!" Killua heard Kurapika shouting his name and responded to him. "Kurapika! I'm over here!!" "KILLUA IS THAT YOU? STAY WHERE YOU ARE! I'M COMING!" Kurapika ran towards his voice. "Killua are you still there?!" "KILLUA?" "I'm over here!" Kurapika ran faster towards the boy's voice. Kurapika finally found Killua after minutes of shouting back and forth. Kurapika found Killua in a crouching position near the water and pulling something out of the water. "KILLUA WHAT WERE YOU THINKING RUNNING OFF LIKE THAT?! "DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT WAS THIS LATE AT NIGHT?! "YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN HURT- OR WORSE!" Killua wasn't paying attention to him though. He was more focused on the what he'd pulled out of the river. It was still alive and breathing, but unconscious at that moment."...ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME KILLUA?!" Kurapika's yelling made 'it' open it's eyes ever so slightly. "Hey look Kurapika, its waking up." "H-huh? W-where am I? What h-happened to m-me?" You asked shakily. "Hey, you okay? Are you hurt?" Killua asked calmly. "I-I think I'm o-okay." _"He looks so familiar, like I've seen him from somewhere before."_ "...Hey, you still there? Hellooo?" You look back up at him startled. "Hm?" "Can you stand up?" "I'll t-try to." You try to force your unsteady legs bear your weight, but collapse each time. "Hey, let me help you." He offers out his hand and you grab onto it. He gently pulls you up. He accidentally loses his grip on you and grabs onto your long-sleeved shirt. You cry out in surprise and look at your shoulder, at the mark that was inked onto your shoulder. You looked up at Killua, who had a look of horror on his face from seeing the mark on your shoulder. Something clicked in your mind in the moment. _"That's him! That's the boy I saw that day! Wait, if he's here then that probably means-"_ Your thought was broken when Killua exclaimed in fear.

"YOU'RE A SPIDER?!"

Kurapika, who was standing near one of the trees during the encounter, heard the words that Killua had screamed. _"A spider? They're a spider?!"_ Kurapika saw the mark on your shoulder only for a split second, but still knew exactly what Killua was talking about. "KILLUA STAND BACK!" Kurapika conjured his chains. You had no time to react as one of his chains was flying towards you, then wrapping around you, entangling you and forcing you into Zetsu. "Y-you're the chain user, aren't y-you." "WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU REALLY?" Kurapika yelled while his eyes burned a fiery scarlet. "ARE THE OTHER SPIDERS WITH YOU AS WELL? ANSWER ME!" So much was happening around you, you didn't know how to react. Your mind was blank, except for one question. _"is he going to kill me?"_ "I WILL ASK ONLY ONE MORE TIME. WHO ARE YOU AND ARE ANY OF THE OTHER SPIDERS WITH YOU?" You answer him by saying, "NO! N-NOBODY ELSE IS WITH M-ME." There was a moment of silence between the two of you. "OKAY THEN, WHO ARE YOU?" "I-I'm y/n" There was another moment of silence. "OKAY, ONE FINAL QUESTION. ARE YOU THE PERSON WHO WAS HIDING IN THE BUSHES THAT DAY? THE DAY YOU WERE WITH HISOKA?" "I HAVE N-NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE T-TALKING ABOUT!" Another moment of silence. "YOU LIAR! JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION DAMMIT!" His chains wrapped tighter around you. "OKAY F-FINE! I WAS THERE T-THAT DAY! BUT HOW D-DID YOU SEE ME WHILE I WAS H-HIDDEN?" "THAT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW. I'M THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE!" He walks toward you. The one question that lingered in your mind repeated itself over and over again. _"Is he really going to kill me, right here and now?"_ "Wait, p-please. P-please don't k-kill me. I-I'm b-begging you. P-please. I'll answer a-all your questions t-truthfully. I'll g-give you all m-my weapons." You took a deep breath as he closed in on you. "I'LL GIVE ANYTHING YOU W-WANT FROM ME JUST PLEASE DON'T K-KILL ME!" Kurapika finally stopped in front of you. "I'm not letting you go right now, and I'm not going to kill you, but I'll only let you live if you do as I say. Got that?" You frantically nod your head as you were relieved that he wasn't going to kill you, well not yet at least. "Come on, I'm not going to stay out here this late at night." He pulled on your chains, pulling you forward. You took the hint and stumbled to get your footing on the slippery ground. At last, you finally get a grip on the slippery bankside and followed behind him. "Let's go Killua, we're heading back." Out of nowhere, the young boy jumped out of the thick trees and ran next to Killua. "No more running off again okay Killua? You better stay by my side the whole way back or else." "Fine, whatever Kurapika." "Hey uh, K-Kurapika is it? C-can I ask you a q-question?" They both turned around to your question. Kurapika sighed. "Fine, but make it quick." "Okay. H-how did you know w-when I was and w-wasn't lying b-back there? Another one of Kurapika's chains dropped from his wrist. It had a ball at the end of it. "What's t-that?" "It's another one of my chains. This one is called Dowsing Chain. I can tell if you're lying just by using this chain. And the one that's restraining you is called Chian Jail. If you didn't notice already, it forces you into Hatsu, so you're unable to use your Nen. I can only use this on members of the Phantom Troupe though." "W-wait, what's H-Hatsu?" Kurapika was shocked by your response. "You don't know what Hatsu is? Do you even know what Nen is?!" "I know w-what Nen is, b-but I don't k-know how to use i-it or how t-to control it." Kurapika sighed. "Whatever, I'll explain tomorrow, and besides we're almost there." You all walked in silence on the way back. Finally, you reached your destination. "Finally we're here. I'm tired..." Killua yawned. "You go ahead Killua and get some sleep. I'll take care of..." He glared at you. "...you first." You both walk inside Leorio's house. "W-wow! It's so b-big and c-cozy here!" "Whatever. Go get yourself cleaned up. You're a soaking mess." "O-okay!" After you get yourself cleaned up, you find some old and oversized clothes waiting for you. _"Well, I guess this will have to do."_ After you exit the bathroom, you find Kurapika standing at the doorway. "Are you finally done?" He asked you in an annoyed tone. "Yeah, I'm done." "Good. Now, if you try escaping tonight while me and Killua are asleep, I will hunt you down and kill you myself. Got that?" "I wasn't planning on escaping anyways." "Good." He walked away from you. "Goodnight!" You say to him. He didn't say it back. It's not like you were expecting him to anyways. After all, to him, you were just a spider in his eyes. You found a somewhat comfy spot on the carpet and curled up. The excitement and fear that rushed through you today left you feeling exhausted, so you fell asleep in no time at all. Quietly, you all slept peacefully in Leorio's house.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long!!😭 And uh I kinda hurt my hand so typing with my right hand is harder to do now, but I can still type though! Chapters may take longer to update/post though.


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